Shades of Black – What “Color” Means to Me

The one thing I never expected while getting older was getting softer.

Vulnerability was definitely not a character trait of mine, and I always thought it was such a sign of weakness as a woman. But that was the mindset of a child and a young woman coming into her “self.” One that had no choice but to choose strength and hard-core relentless drive with no crack in her to allow any kind of vulnerability or pain to sink in.

Now that I’m (a little) older I look back and honor who that young woman was, and honor the strength and sheer drive, but also have grown to honor the vulnerability inside that I once saw as a weakness. Black has, and will always resemble the barrier between me and my inside emotional world, and what I admire so much in many women around me. It was my shield and armor, and I think we all need one sometimes- a defense mechanism…

This jacket is a representation of depth and dark contrast with strong subtle details. When you open it up, the inside is a mix of romantic, colorful, vulnerable florals. A pure embodiment of who I am, who I was, and what I honor. . . And although I (sometimes) go outside without my armor because I am now a new-found kind of strong, I still honor the dark place my aesthetic grew from. I still love the color black for everything it represents, and to me now it is not just a symbol of strength, but also depth and romance. Honoring what was and what still is.